


WhItE tExTeD bRo

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Pesterlog
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-06
Updated: 2013-05-06
Packaged: 2017-12-10 13:53:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/786780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if, aside from their conversation in Cascade, Gamzee had been contacted by a certain Mr. Vanilla Milkshake before?<br/>Here, Doc Scratch guides Gamzee through five conversations, crafting him slowly but surely into the Subjugglator we all know and fear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	WhItE tExTeD bRo

Hello.  
TC: UuUuH?  
TC: wHo ThE mOtHeRfUcK?  
TC: wHo'S tRoLlInG mE?  
TC: cOs I dOn'T sEe NoBoDy  
TC: SoLlUx?  
TC: Is ThAt YoU aLl Up AnD dOiN aLl YoUr MoThErFuCkIn CoMpUtEr TrIcKeRy?  
No.  
TC: OhHhHhH yOu TaLk In WhItE tExT.  
TC: hAhA wOw BrO!  
TC: hOw ArE yOu EvEn FuCkIn DoInG tHaT?  
From what I know of you, I doubt you would want the answer.  
So I shall refrain from informing you, lest I steal the magic from your miracles.  
TC: yOu GoT tHaT bRo!  
TC: I lIkE yOu AlReAdY.  
TC: mIrAcLeS, mAn.  
TC: ThOsE dAmN tHiNgS aRe MoThErFuCkInG eVeRyWhErE!  
Yes, you seem to make this observation rather often.  
TC: mAn, YoU kNoW a LoT aBoUt Me.  
TC: YoU gOtTa Be SoMe KiNdA...  
TC: mIrAcLe MaN!  
You could say that.  
TC: sHiIiIiIiIiT!  
TC: i'M tAlKiNg To A rEaL lIfE mIrAcLe MaN!  
TC: tHiS iS tHe ReAl BiTcHtItS sHiT.  
TC: tElL mE, bRo...  
TC: WhAt'S iT lIkE aLl Up AnD bEiNg A rEaL mOtHeRfUcKiNg MiRaClE? :o)  
"Miraculous" goes without saying.  
I have also been granted with omniscience.  
This very same omniscience has allowed me to see that you have a fascinating future ahead of you, in the service of me and my master.  
TC: SeRvIcE?  
TC: oH mAn, I dOn'T kNoW aBoUt MoThErFuCkInG sErViNg AnYoNe.  
TC: BuT iF yOu'Re AlL kNoWiNg EvErYtHiNg, BrO...  
TC: i GuEsS i GoTtA dO tHaT?  
TC: mAyBe SoMe KiNdA mIrAcLe HaPpEnS tO gEt Me ChAnGiNg My ThInK pAn AbOuT tHaT!  
Indeed.  
"Miracles" will happen to you.  
Soon afterwards, your think pan will undergo an assuredly dramatic change.  
First, though, you shall play a game.  
TC: wHoA.  
TC: aLl ThIs ShIt AbOuT mY fUtUrE iS kInDa GeTtInG mE fEeLiNg AlL wEiRd.  
It's all true. What reason would I have to lie to you?  
Aside from in the short term, for the purposes of a joke.  
You of all people should know the importance of jokes.  
TC: WaSn'T tHiNkInG yOu WeRe LyInG, mAn!  
TC: AnD yEaH, jOkEs ArE tHe ShIt!  
TC: YoU'rE pReTtY dOpE, wHiTe-TeXtEd MiRaClE bRo.  
TC: We GoTtA tAlK mOrE yO.  
You'll be pleased to hear, then, that we have correspondances awaiting you.  
TC: sOuNdS cOoL, bRo!  
Until then.  
TC: Be SeEiNg YoU mY fRiEnD!

\---

Good afternoon, subjugglator.  
TC: HuH?  
Well, isn't that what you are? What you were born to be?  
TC: mOtHeRfUcK nO!  
TC: i DoN't WaNnA bE oNe Of ThOsE mOtHeRfUcKeRs!  
TC: EvEn ThOuGh... I gUeSs I gOtTa Be, CaUsE oF mY bLoOd... :o(  
I'm aware of this.  
I'm also aware that it's your destiny.  
One which you will fulfil. There is no other option.  
TC: Aw MaN :o(  
TC: WhY yOu GoTtA bE tElLiNg Me ThE tRuTh?  
TC: CoS i DoN't WaNt ThAt AlL bEiNg TrUe.  
TC: It'S aLrIgHt ThOuGh.  
TC: I'm NoT oNe Of ThEm NoW.  
TC: i'M aLl ChIlLiN wItH mY iMp BrOs.  
Yes, I'm aware of this too.  
TC: YeEeEeEaH, tHeSe GuYs ArE dOpE. :o)  
You do know that you have to kill them.  
TC: YeEeEaH, tHaT aIn'T sO dOpE :o(  
TC: I lIkE tHeSe LiTtLe FeLlAs!  
Why don't you use this as an opportunity to begin your subjugglator training?  
After all, you know you're bound to become one.  
Best to start early.  
TC: AwWw MaN, i'M gOnNa FeEl LiKe ShIt If I hUrT aNy Of My NeW pAlS.  
You will eventually.  
I can see it in your future.  
I have already informed you that I never lie?  
I shall add that my omniscience never lies either.  
Except by lies of omission, which we can both agree aren't really lies at all.  
TC: i GuEsS i GoTtA dO iT tHeN :o(  
Indeed, subjugglate those suckers.  
TC: Ok, I bOnKeD oNe Of ThEm On ThE hEaD.  
TC: bLuE sTuFf EvErYwHeRe?  
TC: WoW iT's ShInY...  
TC: oH mAn, I lOvE tHiS sTuFf! WhAt Is It?  
Build grist.  
TC: I gOtTa GeT mE sOmE mOrE oF tHiS wIcKeD sHiT!  
TC: aNd... I gUeSs...  
TC: I'lL hAvE tO dO mY sUbJuGgLaTiOn ShIt On MoRe Of ThEsE fElLaS?  
They are so relaxed, so "chilled out", I doubt they will even notice you coming.  
They will die in soporific bliss.  
You'll barely even do them any harm.  
TC: aW mAn, ThAt AiN't A nIcE wAy Of ThInKiNg!  
TC: BuT i GuEsS i CaN bOp A fEw MoRe...  
TC: HaHa!  
TC: YoU kNoW...  
TC: tHiS iS a LiTtLe FuN. :o)  
TC: AlL gEtTiNg My SuBjUgAtE oN wItH tHeSe MoThErFuCkErS.  
It's bloodlust, characteristic to your caste. The subjugglators embrace and relish in this feeling.  
Now you are the last subjugglator. Won't you do them proud?  
TC: ...  
TC: yEeEeAh, I tHiNk I'm JuSt GoNnA sTiCk To SuBjUgMaLaTiNg ThEsE iMpS.  
You will, for the moment.  
TC: :o?  
Farewell.  
TC: ByE tHeN...

\---

I must say, I was impressed by your performance against the Black King.  
TC: UhHhHh?  
TC: CaN yOu ReMiNd Me?  
TC: My ThInK pAn AiN't So MoThErFuCkInG gOoD rIgHt NoW  
TC: mOrE oF a ThInK pAiN  
TC: hEh...  
You did the most damage out of all of them. Even more than Vriska!  
You have a lot of power, my young accomplice. If only you'd embrace it...  
TC: HuH, i DoN'T kNoW aBoUt EmBrAcInG aNy MoThErFuCkIn PoWeRs RiGhT NoW  
TC: I jUsT wAnNa LiE dOwN  
TC: BuT kArBrO sAiD nO sLeEpInG... :o(  
Oh, Gamzee, why would you sleep now?  
Sleep is for suckers. All it does is make you miss out on so much fun.  
Why don't you do something else with your time?  
TC: I gUeSs...  
TC: I cOuLd TrOlL sOmE oF tHeSe HuMaN mOtHeRfUcKeRs?  
There's an idea.  
Which one?  
TC: I dOn't KnOw, I dOn't FeEl LiKe GeTtInG aLl My HaRsH tRoLlInG oN...  
TC: I aLrEaDy TaLkEd To A fEw Of ThEm AnD tHeY wAs AlL gEtTiNg Up AnD rUdE oN mE :o(  
Try another. One you have not yet communicated with.  
Perhaps he will be more receptive.  
TC: He?  
TC: HeY, TaV wAs TeLlInG mE aBoUt ThIs GuY wHo WaS aLl GeTtIn MeAn On HiM...  
And of course you can't have such impudence go unpunished.  
Go on then. Bust out your best trolling moves. Give him the lowdown on why you don't mess with Tavros Nitram.  
Or, for that matter, Gamzee Makara.  
Show him who's boss here.  
Are you really going to let your best friend be beaten by this boy?  
TC: MoThErFuCk No!  
TC: I'M gOnNa Go SaSs OuT tO tHe WiCkEdEsT oN tHaT sTaR mOnKeY uNtIl HiS hEaD hOrNs StArT gOiNg HoNk!  
TC: UhHhH, Or ThEy WoUlD iF hE hAd AnY.  
That's the spirit.  
I won't delay you any longer.

\---

Feeling a bit conflicted, are we?   
TC: you.   
Yes, me.   
TC: MOTHERFUCKING YOU!   
TC: you made me do this.   
TC: YOU MADE EVERYTHING I KNOW ALL VANISH INTO NOWHERE.   
TC: all gone.   
Now, now. Let's not jump to conclusions.   
You may be going insane, but let's try and get some rational thought in the midst of all that.   
What did I do? You trolled the boy of your own volition, remember?   
And how would you reach me for revenge?   
TC: HONK...   
TC: honk.   
TC: YEAH.   
TC: i guess so.   
TC: SO, MY OMNISCIENT BRO.   
TC: tell me.   
TC: WHAT SHIT'S REALLY REAL.   
TC: and what's just the biggest pile of lies i ever laid eyes on.   
I cannot tell you everything. I cannot step into the path of your own destiny, just... shine a light on the places you need to go.   
So I will tell you this.   
Your personality is split in two.   
I could go into detail on the nuances of each one, but you will find that out as your sobriety continues.   
Instead, I shall explain them as this:   
:o)   
Do:   
TC: WHY ARE YOU MOTHERFUCKING TELLING ME   
TC: if i'll just find out anyway?   
There is a connection I need you to make.   
It won't take very much light to illuminate this part of the path. Just hear me out.   
You have two personalities.   
And also two messiahs.   
TC: DON'T TALK TO ME ABOUT THE MIRTHFUL MESSIAHS.   
TC: got this doubt in my think pan now.   
Expend your doubt a while. Think on what I have said.   
TC: :o?   
TC: oh.   
TC: OH.   
I would ask which conclusion you have reached, but I already know.   
Instead, I ask: what will you do now?   
If you are what you think you are, you have license to do whatever you please.   
TC: why are you asking if you already know?   
I need you to work out what to do next.   
TC: I DON'T KNOW!   
TC: everything i knew has been wrong.   
TC: WHAT THE MOTHERFUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?   
TC: Do:   
Then I shall assist with your decision.   
A few reminders for your perusal.   
HOW DO3S TH4T STUP1D BOTTL3D SYRUP OF YOURS T4ST3 W1TH YOUR HOOF SO F4R UP YOUR MOUTH???   
D --> I just hate you so much   
YOU KNOW WHAT WILL BE THE MIRACLE TO END ALL MIRACLES?   
IT'LL BE IF I EVER MEET A KID I DESPISE MORE THAN YOU.   
YOU DRESS LIKE AN IMBECILE AND ARE BASICALLY THE STUPIDEST ASSHOLE I'VE EVER KNOWN.   
I WONDER WHAT KIND OF SHITTY THING I DID TO DESERVE SUCH AN AWFUL BEST FRIEND.   
TC: STOP!   
You have been wronged, Mr. Makara. Countless times.   
Yet you have always been too relaxed to take action.   
That has changed. You have changed.   
What will you do now?   
TC: i know.   
TC: I GOT IT.   
TC: they all hate me.   
TC: SO I GOTTA GET MY RAGE ON RIGHT BACK AT THEM.   
TC: it's about time i realized that.   
TC: I GOTTA TAKE MY REVENGE.   
TC: i am going to motherfucking kill all of them.   
TC: EVERY LAST ONE OF THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS.   
Act upon your impulse. Do as you will.   
However, would it not be prudent to first take revenge on he who sent your faith crumbling?   
TC: tg?   
TC: YES.   
TC: i can't hurt him.   
TC: BUT I'LL REACH INTO HIS DREAMS.   
TC: i'll make him hurt.   
TC: I'LL MAKE HIS WHOLE UNIVERSE HURT.   
TC: make it hurt so bad   
TC: IT'LL WISH WE'D NEVER MADE IT BE.   
TC: and then...   
And then?   
TC: KARBRO.   
TC: he said some really hurtful things to me.   
TC: I GUESS I WAS TOO BUSY ROTTING MY MOTHERFUCKING THINK PAN TO PAY THEM ANY NOTICE.   
TC: well, i remember now.   
TC: THANKS TO YOU.   
TC: so i'll talk to him.   
TC: GET MY RAGE ON.   
TC: and scare him out of his motherfucking life.   
TC: THANKS, MY WHITE TEXTED BRO.   
TC: you did me good.   
You're welcome, Subjugglator.   
Now do your ancestors proud.

\---

TC: that's all motherfuckin done white texted bro.  
TC: NOW WHAT?  
Now comes the biggest joke of all.  
I shall play host to the one who will show you all what you really are.  
TC: oh yeah?  
TC: AND JUST WHAT THE MOTHER FUCK IS IT  
TC: that we motherfuckin are?  
TC: :o?  
S u c k e r s.


End file.
